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March 21, 2014

Dave – the Demon Dracula Devil Rabbit!

Filed under: General News @ 10:51 am
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The night was dark and stormy. The wind shrieked in the dark branches of trees silhouetted against the night sky, the rain lashed down, and the dark creatures of the night crept forth from their hiding places to howl and wail and cry and kill.

The little girl slept peacefully in her bed, clutching her furry toy, unaware of the dark figure which had glided into her room through the open window and now stood and looked down on her. The figure smiled a chilling smile, full of menace. Then, baring his sharp pointed teeth he leaned forward until he was just inches from blood vessel in her neck that pulsated gently beneath the young, tender skin. He stopped abruptly. The skin may have been young and tender but it didn’t look very clean to him. In fact, he doubted very much if she had a wash before bed. And now he thought about it, he didn’t much fancy the idea of biting her neck and drinking her blood. He was starting to wonder why he had come at all, on a night like this, when he could have been tucked up snug and warm in his own bed.

Leaving the little girl sleeping peacefully he wandered down to the kitchen and opened the fridge door. Bonanza! There it was, the cool tray, full of spring cabbage, broccoli, carrots, celery and lettuce! He piled up a plate and sat at the kitchen table. The wind howled and the dark, desolate night…………………it’s no good, you can’t make a scary story out of a rabbit eating a salad!

Watch out for the next evil, spine chilling story of Dave, the Demon Dracula Devil Rabbit!      


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March 6, 2014

Daring Dave – Super Hero!

Filed under: General News @ 10:50 am

The playground echoed to the cries of dead and dying children. The playground was littered with chewed off arms and legs and there was blood everywhere, making a terrible mess for Roger to clean up the next day. The mad dog, which had somehow got into the playground, was chasing down the screaming kids and chewing their heads off. The teachers sprang instantly into action.

Mrs Hurst rang the Police.

Mr Taylder rang the Fire Brigade.

Miss Hogan rang her boyfriend to remind him they were going out that night and not to be late home from work.

Dave looked on from his hutch. What could he do? He was just a small, weak, insignificant rabbit. He couldn’t help. But he knew someone who could. He disappeared into his bedroom and re-emerged minutes later as Daring Dave – Super Hero ! He was wearing a black mask, red tights and a blue cape. He wished he had a mirror in his hutch ‘cos he reckoned he must look pretty good. He raced over to where the mad dog was and cornered him in a ……….. well, a corner. He looked at the dog. The dog looked at him. He looked into the mad dog’s mad bloodshot eyes. The mad dog looked back at him. He looked at the mad dog’s huge pointy teeth, all dripping with blood and saliva. The dog looked back at him.

Just then he remembered ! He had been planning to tidy up his bedroom that morning and had forgotten all about it. He raced back to his hutch and spent the next two hours in his bedroom …………tidying it.

The mad dog eventually wandered off. The teachers all heaved a sigh of relief and sat down and had a cup of tea. They congratulated themselves that no teachers or Important Visitors had been hurt in the incident. Then they started telling each other they hadn’t really been afraid and had just been about to Do Something!

Watch out for the next thrilling story about Daring Dave – The Rabbit With Not Much Fear!


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February 10, 2014

Dave’s Diary – PRIVATE – not for humans!

Filed under: General News @ 10:25 pm
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Mon 3rd: Got fed, had a little run around the playground. Some of the little kids tried to stroke me but I just ignored them.

Tue 4th: Same as yesterday really.

Wed 5th: Nothing happened.

Thur 6th: Bored!

Fri 7th: I watched the school carefully. When I saw that the lights had all been switched off I knew Roger had gone home and I was safe for the weekend. I went into my bedding area and pressed the concealed button. The trapdoor slid open noiselessly and I hurried down the well-lit stairs into the Control Chamber. I unzipped the rabbit suit and let it fall to the floor. What a relief to get it off – it was hot and itchy. I stretched out my tentacles and activated the communications satellite. Instantly the screen came to life and there was Commander Zarg looking down at me with all three eyes. ‘Good evening, Comrade Splogg’ he said ’What have you got to report?’

‘Well Sir’ I said, ‘My hutch hasn’t been cleaned out in weeks and I’ve only had broccoli twice since…’

‘I’m not interested in that’, he said rather abruptly. ‘We need to have your observations about the human race and how likely it is that we can conquer them and make earth our new home’

‘Well Sir’ I said, ‘There are three different levels of humans. At the lowest level are the ‘kids’. They are small and feeble and have to obey orders without question. Next are the ‘teachers’. They are much bigger and give commands in loud voices to the kids. Finally at the top is the biggest and fiercest of the humans, called ‘Mrs Hurst’. Everyone is scared of her. Now here’s an interesting thing – with the kids there is an equal number of ‘boys’ and ‘girls’. But when they get to be teachers almost all the boys have disappeared. Most of the teachers are girl humans.

‘That is very strange ‘said Commander Zarg, ‘What do you make of it?’

‘It’s clear to me’ I told him, ‘They are either using the boys as slave labour in some underground mines, or they are eating them. They keep one or two, like Mr Lyford or Mr Taylder, but just really as pets, I think’

‘So the ‘girls’ are in charge of the world?’

‘Oh yes, definitely’, I said

‘You’ve done a good job, well done Splogg. The invasion plans are well under way. We have decided to invade earth on December 25th – Christmas day. That is the day many of them are at home. Military Intelligence has decided that the ‘rabbit’ disguise is not going to work for us, so the invasion force will be flying in disguised as birds – called ‘Turkeys’. We will assemble under cover of darkness at Turkey farms in the weeks before ‘Christmas’ and launch our attack on Christmas Day. Then the world will belong to us and the humans will be our slaves!

‘Wait a minute’ I said ‘Are you telling me I’ve got to go through another hot summer wearing this fur coat and eating carrots and broccoli ?’

‘Don’t you like carrots and broccoli?’ he asked

‘No I don’t!’ I told him, ‘I want pizza and Happy Meals and ice cream and chocolate!

‘Just be patient, Comrade Splogg. What are you doing – you’re not writing this down are you?’

‘Don’t worry’, I told him, ‘I shall keep my diary well hidden from the humans. What did you think I would do, put it on a blog?’ I chuckled.

‘No of course not’, replied the Commander, smiling. ‘Well, keep up the good work. Over and out’

The screen went blank. I put on my rabbit suit and went back up top to the hutch. The strange thing is, I can’t remember where I put my diary………….?


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December 10, 2013

Roger’s Big Adventure by Dave The Rabbit (that’s me)

Filed under: General News @ 10:36 pm
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It all started when Mrs Barker was cycling past the school at 9.30 at night and noticed that all the lights were still on. This was very unusual so she went in and looked around for Roger. She couldn’t find him anywhere, even after calling his name out, so finally she had to ring Mrs Hurst and tell her that the school was unlocked and Roger was nowhere to be found. Mrs Hurst came straight down to school, switched all the lights off and locked up. She and Mrs Barker agreed that there was no point in searching for Roger at that time of night, and they just had to hope he would be back next morning.
He wasn’t back next morning. Mrs Hurst was worried, so she told the other teachers. Mrs Beeton got Year 4 to make up posters which said ‘Have You Seen Roger The Caretaker. Please ring Oxford Road School’. Then they put a photo of him on the poster and went out and stuck the posters on lampposts and bus shelters. They also went into shops which sell saxophones and got them to put a poster in their window, and then they went to shops which sell saws and hammers and tools and stuff and asked them to display a poster.
Meanwhile Mrs Hurst contacted Radio Berkshire and told them about the missing caretaker. ‘We’re very worried she said, ‘Everybody is missing him. We think he might have wandered off and someone found him and took him home. He’s a very friendly caretaker and would go home with anybody’
Mrs Hurst decided she’d better have a special assembly. She told all the children that Roger was on holiday for a few days. That might have fooled the smaller children, but the older ones knew that Roger never took any holiday during term time. ‘We think he’s been eaten by a fox’ said Bethany.
Everybody tried to carry on as normal but there was an air of sadness everywhere in the school. Miss Hogan tried to put on a brave face but a few people saw her wiping away a tear during the day. Roger was her favourite caretaker and she was more or less his unofficial keeper.
On the second day, just when everyone had given up hope, Mrs Hurst received a phone call from Debenhams in the town centre. They said they had heard the news report on Radio Berkshire and when they found a caretaker asleep under their Christmas tree when they came in that morning, they thought he might belong to the school. Mrs Hurst was overjoyed and jumped in her car and went down and got him.
‘He’s none the worse for his big adventure’ she said. ‘He must have wandered into town and then got confused by all the Christmas lights and decorations. It’s so good to have him back and we’ll make sure he doesn’t stray in future.
Miss Hogan gave him a big piece of cake and a big hug. ‘He’s my baby ’, she said.

November 28, 2013

Can a rabbit get writer’s block?

Filed under: General News @ 10:47 pm

I am going to have to get Miss Hogan to check in on Dave and see if we can get him back online and posting!

If you miss Dave’s posts make sure you let him know by commenting!

Take time to comment!
Paws for Dave!

October 26, 2013

Now I’m getting the hang of this……..

Filed under: General News @ 10:17 pm

My latest poem. Short, but to the point.

 

Carrots are great

Carrots are good

Go and eat a carrot

I think you should!

My poem

Filed under: General News @ 10:52 am

I’ve been reading some great poetry by Savera ! In fact, I’ve been inspired. My poem is below. Mine isn’t great poetry but it’s from the heart, and they say you should write about what you know !

 

They told me ‘write a blog, and make it funny’

And mention, when you write, a certain bunny

I completely fail to see

Who they could mean, apart from me

And nothing rhymes with ‘bunny’, except ‘hunny’!

And hunny’s not a food  fit for a bunny

It’s warm and soft and gloopy when it’s sunny

That’s OK  for bees and bears

‘cos really no one actually cares

But a hunny covered bunny isn’t funny

If you want to make me happy don’t buy hunny

I can tell you better ways to spend your money

You should buy some crunchy treat

Or things rabbits like to eat

And NEVER give a bunny runny hunny!

October 22, 2013

A bit of advice…..

Filed under: General News @ 3:10 pm

I’ve been reading some greats blogs and some people have said some nice things about me (thanks Emma !)

So I’ve written a second verse to my song (same tune as before).

 

When you blog you mustn’t get your spelling wrong

You must check each word before you write a song

If you use a word like ‘berry’

You must check the dick-shun-nerryyyyyyyyy

And make sure you write it right, not write it wrong !

October 20, 2013

He cares !

Filed under: General News @ 10:10 pm

I take it all back ! Roger is my hero ! I was all set for a lonely weekend – no children, no freedom, no food, no fun. Then mid-morning on Saturday Roger turned up with broccoli ! My favourite – how did he know ? And it wasn’t that ‘reduced-for-a-quick-sale-past-it’s-sell-by-date’ stuff that he’s given to me before. No, this was full-priced, fresh from Lidl. His kind gesture gave me a warm glow all day, so I’ve composed a song, dedicated to Roger, called ‘The Bestest’ (it goes to the tune of ‘She’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes’)

I like cabbages and carrots, yes I do (yes I do!)

As long as they’re not served with rabbit stew (that wouldn’t do!)

And tho’ I’ll eat a garden pea

Or a stick of celeryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

The bestest of them all is broccoli (broccoli!)

October 17, 2013

The road to freedom !

Filed under: General News @ 10:28 pm
Tags: , , ,

I’m not sure Roger likes me anymore. He never calls me his cute bunny wunny, he just says ‘Oi Furry Face, here’s your grub’ or refers to me as the Hairy Carrot Cruncher. He’s been like this ever since I escaped. Escaped ? Hey, wait a minute – am I a prisoner here ? Someone call the United Nations, do they even know? What’s the number for Amnesty ? Who’s my MP ? I can’t even tunnel out – they put my hutch on paving slabs. They thought of everything. But I will bide my time – they’ll let their guard down and I’ll seize the moment. Nelson Mandela said ‘The road to freedom starts with a single step’. Well forget that – I see those gates open, I’m running !

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